With the name of Allah, Who is most Gracious and most Merciful.
Imagine your personality is it looks like an angry bird or it’s like a calm, cool and peaceful person?
Anger; destructive emotion that kills your talents and productive skills. It harms you in every field of life. Makes you sick in relationships, finance etc. You are not able to make any fruitful decision at that time. At an all it is a killer of yourself, your life and your virtues and your personality over all. Your mental, physical and spiritual health suffers from it a lot.
Whatever a reason behind your anger, it may be family issues, your childhood etc. but I reality no one wants to live with an anger everyone wants to get rid of it. Here are few tips to remove anger from your life forever.
Be aware of your anger:
Become sensible to your feelings of anger. Differentiate your emotions when you are responding normally or angry in certain type of situations. It is awareness moment when you become aware of your anger. Now you know very well of responsible factors of your anger. And become conscious of your anger triggers.
Realize the root cause of anger:
Now you know what make you angry in certain type of situation? Remember any recent situation which made you to lose your temper. Write down everything about that situation. Now go through it and identify the main root cause of anger. Keeping in mind the points that what make you angry at that time; e.g. isn’t it somebody’s words, attitude or surrounding environment (e.g. noise) etc. Know why you become angry? Why you lost your temper? Why you react aggressively? What makes you to behave like that?
Getting answer of these questions from yourself and the situation make you to be aware of the source of anger.
Examine your inner self.
You realize the root cause of your anger now examine yourself internally. Remind yourself anger is an internal emotion that effects internally and externally both. So correct yourself from internal first. Examine your points of adhere beliefs. Take notice of your issues. See the both sides of coin.
For example seeing a somebody always make you to lose your temper. What you have to do is to examine what issue you have with him/her? What type of things in him you dislike? So see the things which can make him likeable to you and to all others. When you notice all things then schedule a time and sit with him and resolve your issue. Realize that it is not something in him which you dislike but it is inside yourself which make you to react with him rudely. So you have to work yourself on first. That’s why old saying suits you that what you think is what you are.
Move away from anger:
Yes it is possible to move away from anger. Imagine that you are stuck in traffic for an hour due to some reasons suddenly and you have a meeting, you come out early but still traffic makes an issue for you to not reach on time. And it makes you to lose temper and become angry with traffic.
So what you should do? First just make yourself calm down. Relax. Notice all the vehicles surrounding you. People inside them also want to reach at their destinations on time. So you are not the only one in this ocean of traffic.
So why you become angry? Why not to concentrate on other positive things? Observing the surroundings. Listening a motivational audio book or again revising your meeting points and informing others that you are stuck in traffic suddenly.
All these things make you to move away from anger and don’t make you to waste your energy, which you can utilize, somewhere.Thinking about alternatives make you to move away from anger.
Don’t hurt yourself with anger, Try to forgive yourself:
Have you ever get anger on yourself? Yes we all have that point come in our life many times. When you are feeling helplessness, when you can’t change things, when you can’t change others, when you have not performed with excellence, when you not do something in a way that you want to do. All these situations are blaming situations which make you to lose your temper on yourself. You blame for everything to yourself as a “failure”, as a “loser”. Why are you hurting yourself because of others?
Stop blaming yourself. Keep in your mind that only you are not responsible for some bad situation, there may be other factors too. So why hurt yourself. Get the lesson and then prepare yourself for every situation. Promise yourself next time you can perform better, again fail don’t get disappointed, don’t lose temper on yourself just keep trying because every time you learn something new even from worst. Forgive yourself this time too.
Rate yourself on anger index:
On which state of anger you are rate yourself.
State 5: Rage- You totally lost yourself. And do not behave normally, every work you speak and everything you do in this situation is not as you say and do normally. You are out of control.
State 4: Infuriated- You not lost it totally but feel yourself mad. A state where you can still handle the situation and control yourself.
State 3: Anger- Now you are in real anger. Physical symptoms of anger start arousing at that time i.e. mind warm up, heat beat increases etc.
State 2: Frustration- You are in between negligible aggravation and real anger.
State 1: Irk- When anger begins but is suppressible.
State 0: Anger less- Calm, cool, peaceful and quiet. No anger lies inside you.
What level you are at on? Now deal it accordingly.
Help others with their anger:
When someone is angry on you or when you are living with angry ones. Try to help them also to get rid of anger. Don’t deal them with anger too. Realize that there are certain types of situations, associated feelings, beliefs etc. Which make them to lose their temper too.
Tell us how you overcome your anger?
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